The Best Damn Birthday EVER!
by Little Obsessions
Summary: Joe thinks clarisse doesn't care that he's a year older.....little does he know! c and J ofcourse.


_None of these character belong to me, I just like to give them whips and chains to play with. They belong to meg Cabot and Disney._

Clarisse slipped the deep red, silk dress over her head, aided by a rather bemused Olivia. Smiling secretively she slipped on the black evening gloves and leaned forward, revealing a copious amount of leg through the split of the dress. Olivia gasped audibly, noting the very sexy but flattering way the former queen was dressed as Clarisse raised an amused eyebrow. Olivia often wondered how she managed to carry it off, dressing like that. She didn't have to guess _why_ the queen was dressed like that, it was Sir Joseph's birthday. Olivia allowed herself a smile, she loved just watching the two of them together. Clarisse coughed a little, bringing the young girl back to reality. Olivia's face reddened considerably, much to Clarisse's amusement. Clarisse lifted her perfume bottle, the perfume he loved so much. She decided against it, she didn't want anything to give the game away.

She applied the matching red lipstick and pouted slightly into the mirror. A pointless exercise really, the only place that lipstick would be smothered was on her husbands lips. She slipped on her shoes, clipped the diamond strand bracelet round her glove clad wrist and she was ready, now all she had to do was make sure he was ready.

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Joseph sighed audibly, never had his birthday been so dull. Dinner with a diplomat on his birthday! He couldn't believe Clarisse had organised that on his birthday! How unfair. Sulking after their heated discussion he went to the security office, fully dressed in his usual. Black shirt, black dinner jacket, black everything else. Now he sat in the dimness of the room, drumming his fingers on the old oak desk. He couldn't believe her" Not only had she forgotten to get him a present, she'd arranged dinner with someone else. He grunted, he was being rather childish but he always fussed over her on her birthday, why had she practically overlook his.

He didn't have time to ponder that because suddenly a voice filled the room. It was a horrible voce, croaky and gruff, clearly a mans. Joseph swallowed as he felt to cold barrel of a gun pressed to his head. This was what he was trained for, yet he was defenceless. His body sandwiched between the desk and the plush chair, his attacker standing behind.

" Don't move", the voice commanded, " Give me your hands". Joseph did as he was told by the balaclava masked figure. The figure gripped his hands and twisted them behind hid back, slapping on a pair of heavy handcuffs. Joseph didn't dare move, now he wished he'd really apologised to his wife. And kidnapped, on his birthday!

"I'm going to blindfold you now", the voce whispered, " Don't dare put up a fight, I have the gun". Joseph nodded imperceptibly as the black fold came over his eyes, plunging him into darkness.

The man gripped his upper arm, lifting him roughly up as the chair swivelled and fell back on itself.

"where are you taking me?", Joseph demanded as the figure led him into the blindness of the corridor. No answer. The place was silent and Joseph didn't dare make a noise. He couldn't make a run for it because he would be shot - that he didn't want. They seemed to walk for ages, unusually not coming across anyone. The place seemed utterly empty. A few doors later, the air began to grow colder, their footsteps began to echo off of cobbles and Joseph could only decipher they were either at the begging of the dungeons or the vaults.

Suddenly his captor stopped in the middle of wherever they were, rotated Joseph and thumped him onto a chair. The grip on his arm was gone and so was the figure, or so he presumed.

Suddenly he heard the click of light footsteps on the hard, cobbled floor. Still in the dark, Joseph wriggled helplessly against the cuffs which held his hands at his back. He jumped as a sharp nail ran down his cheek. Someone was hovering over him and he felt strangely close to whoever it was. He shivered as a hand ran enticingly down his back. God, he liked this person. Then Clarisse flashed in his head and he felt a real stab of guilt, she was probably franticly looking for him.

"who are you?", he demanded, struggling. No answer, instead he felt a weight on his legs, someone sitting on his lap…. Straddling his legs.

"hey what the hell…..!", he shouted, his voice echoing around the dungeons.

Clarisse was having the best time, watching his face fight the pleasure as she straddled him. She didn't want to torture him anymore, but she was enjoying it.

"Get off me!", he rumbled again, wriggling his body violently. What the hell was happening.

She kissed his neck and his mouth fell open, his head hanging back. As much as he didn't want to, he was enjoying this.

Suddenly a hand reached round his back and them he could see the light. It took him a moment to adjust his eyes to the dim dungeon and to the woman straddling his lap. He nearly passed out.

"Happy birthday", she whispered, kissing his neck again.

"Clarisse!", he managed, a grin spreading across his features, " But - how- I- what….."

Before he could kiss her she lifted her weight off of him, her face still hovering enticingly in front of his. He gulped as he seen her attire. Still tied to the chair, the urge to reach out and touch her was unbelievable. The red dress, exceedingly low cut was just enough to make him have an apoplexy. That split might just prove his downfall……..he swallowed again. That lipstick, he couldn't wait to smudge it.

"Come back and sit", he growled, " And un cuff me"

"Oh no", she whispered, hovering over him, " No we eat first".

He had been so engrossed in his wife that he hadn't noticed the rest of their surroundings. The dungeon was still ensconced in the middle ages, torches lighting up the walls, draughts creeping in between the gaps. A dinner table, set for two by candle light in the middle of the room. Silver domes encasing whatever smelled so good. Manacles still hanging on the cells that hadn't been occupied for years. She followed his eyes around the room and as they fell on the manacles he looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"You wish", she laughed.

"I think, from your performance", he laughed, shaking his hands so the cuffs clinked to enforce his point, " My wishes might come true". She laughed again, tilting her head back, revealing an expanse of neck just waiting to be kissed.

She pulled up the split of her dress just a little, revealing the hem of her stocking and producing a set of tiny keys. He groaned again, shaking the cuffs against the back of the chair. He was desperate to get near her. This birthday, hell this birthday was his best ever.

"Promise", she whispered, dangling them in front of his face, " You'll behave when I let you go". He nodded avidly. She walked around him, dragging her finger across his chest. He heard the turn of the key and the metal off the cuffs clink against the stone floor. He flexed his hands a little.

She moved from behind and swayed past him, her hip brushing his shoulder. She stopped at the table, waiting to be seated to look at him - he hadn't moved.

She looked at him questioningly, a wicked smile playing at her face.

" I was waiting for your next order", he growled. She laughed, her rich voice ringing round the dungeons.

"Get up, and get me seated", she ordered slowly. He followed her orders, moving slowly behind her, making sure he brushed against her body. He slowly pulled out the seat and she sat, motioning for him to sit across from him. He did as he was told, still holding eye contact with her. He was enjoying this birthday, very, very much.

"Eat", she smiled, sipping the poured champagne.

"There's only one thing in this room I want to eat", he growled, tugging on the collar of his shirt.

"hmm", she laughed, " let me guess….later but first, dinner".

She knew what he liked, and god did she get him it. Delivered from his favourite pizza house in Pyrus. Topped with every topping possible, served with fries and the biggest bottle of Coke he'd ever seen. He smiled gleefully at her, his features lighting up in a most child like manner.

" I can't cook", she laughed, tucking into her own food, a slightly more refined salmon fillet " So naturally, I had someone do it for me".

They sat in contented silence for a while, simply revelling in the fact the evening ahead was entirely theirs. After the main course was over, she smiled over at him, leaning forward over the table.

"And you thought I didn't care about your birthday", she teased or rather, flirted.

"Yes", he admitted with mock guilt, he knew she was only teasing, " But all I care about now is what's for dessert".

"Let the main course settle", she whispered, standing up, " Your present first". He looked at her inquisitively, following her lead. He didn't know what to say, after all this was most definitely enough. She led him silently across the dungeon, half silhouetted as she glided in front of him, her hips swaying enticingly.

"Clarisse" he growled, catching up, " Where are you taking me?" She stopped then, turning to him a she did so.

"Happy Birthday", she smiled, motioning towards a sheet clad something or other sitting in the corner.

"For me?", he questioned, moving toward it.

"Who else?", she laughed, standing back as he whipped off the black sheet. He nearly jumped with glee at what sat before him, what he'd always wanted. A Harley, his very own Harley!

"But you said these things were death traps!", he exclaimed, running his hands over the shiny black paintwork, " You said you'd never talk to me again if I bought one!"

"Well", she laughed, so enjoying the pleasure on his face, " I changed my mind and my pleasure is your pleasure".

"That last line could have so may connotations", he whispered, running his fingers down her arm, " So many".

"Too many", she laughed, leaning into him. Suddenly she was being smothered in kisses, deep and passionate and burning. Kissing that could, with the heat radiated, heat up the depths of the dungeon. Yes, she was glad she'd done this for him. He pulled back, wiping the lipstick from his chin as he did so.

"I hope there's more where that came from", she laughed, bending down beside the bike. Moments later she produced a large, black gift box, wrapped in a silver bow.

"Black", she smiled, " All for you". he grasped I, tugging on the bow. As soon as the box was opened the smell of new leather hit him, along with his brand new set of riding leathers.

"I hoped you'd look very….sexy in these", she whispered, leaning against the bike. He swallowed, sitting the box on top of the bike, he could examine them more closely later.

"_I'm_ hoping", he whispered, pulling her hips so they jutted against his pelvis, " That you bought a set".

"No", she laughed, " No, but I think it's about time you had desert".

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"Desert", he growled, as she fell on top of him, trying to regain her breathing, " tasted fantastic". She laughed slightly, trying to pull down her dress which was hitched up round her waist. No, the cobbles weren't that comfortable but it really hadn't mattered in the heat of the moment.

"Can I get a double serving", he laughed, " If you make yourself decent and we go back to our room?"

"Me! Make my self descent!", she laughed, biting his half- shirted shoulder, " it would be a good idea for you to do up your trousers and your shirt!"

"Darling", he laughed, helping her with her zip, " I would button it if you hadn't clawed it to shreds".

"fair point", she smiled, standing up with him.

"I'll tell you something", he smiled, leading her to the dungeon door as he tried to conceal his chest, " that was the best damn birthday I've ever had!"

_Thanks to Queen jewels for my proofing._

_Leave a little review (smiles nicely at wonderful reviewers)_

_Yours,_

_M_


End file.
